Meet Mary Sue! First Parody Fic
by Leonardo DiCaprio
Summary: Meet Mary, just your average pretty, sexy mary-sue who has her eye on something special. Find out about her life and death and how it made an impact on everyone's lives...HAHAHA! Created for the lulz! Tell meh how much you hate MARY SUES!


**Meet Mary-Sue**

**By ~PrennCooder**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DP.**

**Just about everyone else has done one, so I figured I'd try it out for size.**

**Meet Mary-Sue. By the end of this story, you'll want to kill her too! **

**Like ma little rhyme? **

**Anyways, this is my first Sue parody fic. It was not aimed at a specific Sue (sorry if I took your Sue's name or basic concept because it was not intentional at all.) Btw, last night I read Tara Gilesbie's My Immortal in all of its horrifically stupid glory and I needed to let out some heat on a Mary-Sue.**

**Please leave a review for this story, thank you.**

**Warning: I don't usually write humor fics, so lemme know if you think it's funny enough.**

**Ta ta's!**

One day Danny went to school and there was somebody waiting by his locker. She had long blond hair and blue eyes and she was very sexy.

"Hi! I'm Mary-Sue Angelica Manson! I'm new here and I'm a goth but, I'm very happy and very nice, unlike that _Sam_ Manson I've heard about. She's uber mean. Danny, you and I should be best friends!"

Danny's eyebrows rose. He was so totally confused.

"You don't remember me?" Said Mary distraught.

"Um…I think I'd remember meeting someone…someone like you." Danny laughed awkwardly.

"Well you _should_! You and I lived on the same street when we were six all the way up until I moved during eighth grade. But now I'm BACK! For no apparent reason! But seriously, you should remember me. We went to the same schools and everything. We even had the same birthday and we had the same bike and we both had older annoying sisters. You and I also both wanted to be astronauts and we both loved motorcycles…"

"I get the point." Danny said quickly. He had this vague memory of a little blond girl who used to follow him around all the time. Whenever she'd ask him about things that he liked, he'd answer her, but then she'd say something like "Oh I like that too!" And Danny avoided her as much as possible.

"Hey what class do you have next?"

"Uh, chemistry…maybe…"

"No WAAAYY! Me too! Isn't that WEIRD?" She said with a smile. "Come on!" She dragged him onward to the classroom even though it was her first day and she hadn't ever been to the classroom before.

_But Mary-Sue led the way._

In chemistry class, Mary and Danny sat together, and she like totally made him ignore all of his friends. Tucker, Cecelia, and Sam were even waiting for Danny before walking to lunch together.

But Danny had already walked to his lunch table in effort to evade Mary. But soon she spotted him, "_Hi_ Danny!" (Like it's easy to spot the average-looking kid with black hair and blue eyes when the majority of the population of Amity Park has black hair and/or blue or blue-green eyes.) Mary sat down right next to Danny so that her arm brushed up against his shoulder.

Soon Danny's REAL friends found him sitting at their usual table and they sat down with him.

"Danny have you been avoiding us?" Sam asked blatantly.

Tucker elbowed her because that was a rude thing to say. "Gee, Sam. Danny doesn't have to hang out with us all the time. Maybe he has other friends…" This was Tucker's way of hinting.

"_Hi_, guys! I'm Mary-Sue and I'm new here! You probably don't remember me, but I remember you! _Hi_ Tucker! _You_ used to have a crush on me."

"No I didn't." He said quickly.

"Yes you did. Gosh, you were so cute when you were younger." Mary sighed happily.

"Gosh, I'm sure you remember me too." Sam said with heavy sarcasm.

"Unfortunately, yes." Mary's voice suddenly turned grim. "You were the meanest, skinniest, most self-centered little freak I've ever met." Mary growled.

Sam blinked and a smile soon appeared on her gothic face. "Thank you." She said in a sing-song.

Valerie pointed her finger right at Mary. "Well _I_ remember you." (She seemed to be the only one.) "You're Paulina's cousin. I remember Paulina's seventh birthday specifically. You came over to her house all the time and you wanted to be just like her."

Paulina conveniently walked by.

"_Hi_ Paulina!"

"Oh hi, Mary." Paulina said with disgust. "You just think because you're pretty like me and self-oriented like me AND a cheerleader like me that you can just dance in here and suddenly become the most popular girl in school like me? Nu-uh." She walked away.

"Um, I'm lost here. Who are you exactly?" Cecelia said. Valerie, Danny, Sam, Tucker and Mary all turned to look at her.

"Well for your information, chub bucket, I'm Mary-Sue and I used to be Danny's best friend forever."

Cecelia took a deep breath and stood up to go punch Mary in the face for calling her chubby. Valerie held Cecelia back and it took much effort.

"So, yeah, Danny and I should pretty much date now." Mary said confidently. "Danny and I go so far back it's so hilarious that it's not even funny."

"Whatever." Danny tried to ignore her and focus on his _real_ friends. He looked at Tucker, which was the one who started to talk now.

"So are we cool to go to you-know-where after you-know-what?" Tucker asked.

Danny face palmed.

"Ooo! You guys are all going to the Nasty Burger after school! Cool! I'll be there." She said as the bell rang.

Oh my gosh, she actually got up by herself this time and didn't wait for Danny to walk to class with her!

Danny pulled his real friends aside and told them, "Okay, thanks to _Tucker_,"

"Sorry!" He squeaked.

"Our meeting will be held at my place _instead_ of the Nasty Burger."

Everyone agreed and then they dispersed.

After school was over, Danny and his friends—Tucker, Sam, Valerie, Cecelia and Garth all met up at Danny and Danielle's house for a team phantom meeting in the living room.

"…Okay guys, so the main issue today I'd like to talk to you about is Skulker." Danny said to the group. "He hasn't been hunting me in a while, so everybody be on the lookout for him—"

They heard footsteps coming and they jumped when they heard, "Oh _hi_ Danny!"

Danny half-heartedly hoped it was Skulker.

But no, it was worse.

It was…Mary-Sue!

"How did you know we were here?" Sam demanded.

"How did you get in my house?" Danny said exasperated.

"Oh, I walked home with you guys." Mary invited herself onto the couch most of them were sitting on.

"You mean you followed us." Cecelia said.

"We're having a private meeting here! Don't you even have the manners to ASK to join our group?" Valerie bellowed.

Mary stared at her blankly.

"Aw come on, you're not little Ms. Perfect that you can just be friends with everyone you meet." Said Garth. "This is NOT how you make friends."

Mary looked downward in a pout. "But I AM perfect."

"Nobody's perfect, _Mary_." Sam sneered. "I can be selfish, rude, and judgmental, and I think my ideas are always best, but I have to learn to listen to other peoples' ideas because they might have accounted for something that I left out. But even with all of that, I'm still a good person. And I've got good friends here who will vouch for me in case you don't believe me, because I _know_ you _don't_."

"W-w-what are you implying?" Mary tried to keep her cool despite having been insulted, sort of.

"And sometimes I'm not as brave as I should be." Danny confessed.

"Sometimes I can be too straightforward and not show any concern to other people's feelings." Valerie admitted reluctantly.

"And I tend to be a little narrow-minded." Cecelia contributed.

"I can be ice cold sometimes without even knowing it. I also blow off my friends when I get upset." Garth said.

With each confession, Mary's face looked more and more alarmed.

"And I'm _certainly_ not perfect. I'm not very strong but I try my hardest and make do on what I have." Danielle said.

"Me? Oh yeah. I'm the last one left." Tucker said. Everyone looked at him, waiting to hear his flaw. "Well, guys, it might surprise you, but I'm not the ladies' man I always made myself out to be."

"No kidding." Said Sam under a cough.

"See, we've all got something that makes us human." Danny said.

"Except you, of course." Cecelia said to Mary.

Mary's eye twitched as she looked at each of them. "Im-p-p-erfection!" She stuttered. Then she ran out the door screaming "Aaaaahhh! Imperfection! Imperfection! I can't TAKE IT ANYMORE! AAAhhh!" And there was a large crashing sound.

Not one of the seven friends ever got up to investigate.

"Maybe a bird took a poop on her." Tucker said.

"Maybe she got lucky and hit a car." Said Sam gothically.

"Or she got abducted by aliens." Garth said with a smile.

"Guys, come on, get real. That was definitely the sound of an explosion." Danielle said. "So she must have blown up."

Everybody started to laugh.

From that day forth, none of them ever saw Mary-Sue angelica Manson ever again, ever, and her disappearance was never explained ever, but all the friends knew it that they wanted to forget her. Forever.

And thus was the end of the Mary-Sue.


End file.
